Just wanted to check in with a few thoughts today.
-Probably a cliche, but this little face is my entire world.
I just love this girl and I am so grateful for her enthusiasm for life, her mischief, and her love of learning. I’ve been on maternity leave from work (I guess it has maybe turned into bereavement leave? I don’t know…they’re giving me space, which I so appreciate) and it has been a blessing to be able to devote all of my energy to her and to processing everything that has happened. We’ve settled into a sweet little routine of taking an “after-lunch walk” now that she can walk fluidly, and walking down the street holding her hand is seriously the best part of my entire day. She waves at the cars that pass by and barks back at our neighbors’ dogs (“ruh ruh ruh!”)
After our walk, we come in and read books on the couch. I can ask her to “go get a new book” and she goes to the bookshelf, carefully selects one, says “dat!” and excitedly trots back to the couch with the book. My heart!!!
My favorite stages so far: newborn, 6 months, and NOW. That feels good to say!
–Stop the presses: my quiet time was actually QUIET today.
Since Zoe became more mobile, I’ve been struggling to find a time to do my quiet time. If I do it in the mornings (my preferred time,) Zoe uses me as a personal jungle gym and/or traverses throughout the house while I trail her with the iPad. Or, I have to do it during her afternoon nap while practicing the extreme spiritual discipline of ignoring the mess that has piled up during the day that I really want to clean.
I love starting my day with a reminder of what matters most and a chance to set fresh intentions for the day, but waking up earlier than Zoe has seemed…scary? Crazy? Idiotic?
However…lately she has been waking up for about an hour every night sometime between 1 and 3. While I do not enjoy our nightly parties, they seem to allow her to sleep in until 6:30 or so. So this morning, I woke up at 5:10 and shuffled to the kitchen to meet the Lord.
A fresh cup of coffee, a blanket on my lap, a CANDLE?! We got fancy up in this kitchen, and it was fantastic. I journaled 5 pages full of thoughts on Colossians 3 and referenced three different versions of the Bible. I might have to wake up before Zoe more often…
Also, Colossians 3 deserves its own post. Forthcoming…
-Today: the first day I haven’t cried in over 10 days. (I said that yesterday, but then wound up crying right before bed. UGH. I was SO CLOSE!) I don’t say that to be melodramatic whatsoever…just to say that healing is a process, but God is faithful. Along with exercise and writing, music is helping. Here’s a playlist I made, in case anyone else needs some encouraging.
-Also helping? Zoe’s ridiculous antics. Have you seen Why My Kid is Crying? Here’s why MY kid was crying last week: because she could not simultaneously have her legs wrapped up in a blanket and walk. What a conundrum…one she wanted me to fix, NOW, if you can’t tell from the photo on the right.