A few weeks ago, David’s best friend gave us a few free hours of babysitting on a Saturday afternoon. David and I went to a great farm-to-table restaurant for brunch (I had a PERFECT quiche with a mixed greens salad, and he had a greasy bacon/egg/cheese sandwich. We were both happy.)
After that, we had been planning on doing something active–kayaking, going for a walk, etc.–but it was gray and windy outside.
And so we found ourselves at a bowling alley at 1 pm on a Saturday, surrounded by children’s birthday parties and frat boys sipping beer and watching sports.
We played two games (rounds? I don’t know bowling terminology…) of bowling, each winning one. David tried to improve my bowling form. I giggled at his victory dance. We congratulated one another for good turns. It felt great to be together, enjoying one another’s company, knowing our daughter was being cared for by someone who loves her. It felt nice to have a break from constant parenthood and be able to spend time with my first love and be fully present with him.
We went to turn our shoes in and the owner said, “I have to ask. You two are the happiest couple! You smile more than anyone I’ve ever seen. What’s your relationship? Are you married? Girlfriend/boyfriend?”
We told him we were married and he said “no kidding.” He asked our ages (he thought I was 18, haha) and then asked what we did for a living. David told him he worked at a church and he said “that makes sense.” Then he asked me what I did and I said “I stay home with our daughter.”
That floored him. “I can’t BELIEVE you are a stay at home mom! You guys have a daughter? And you are out having this much fun together, such big smiles? I can’t believe it. You guys are blessed.”
It made me smile. A lot.
I tend to be really hard on myself (which shouldn’t be news to anyone reading this.) In this new stage of life, I’ve felt like I sometimes have less attention and energy to give to David than in the past. Although he’s very understanding and says there’s no problem, I feel the difference as more and more of our time is spent as “working time” as we care for Zoe instead of as “couple time.”
I love the “working time,” because it’s really “family time,” but I worry sometimes that we won’t know how to enjoy one another anymore in the “couple time.” And while I feel like the happiest wife in the world…I worry sometimes that David is secretly like, “where did she GO?!”
I guess it felt good to hear how obvious it is that we still enjoy one another…that it’s obvious how much David loves being around me and spending time with me…that we’re obviously happy together.
It also felt good to win at bowling. So there’s that!
Anyway, my point is…moms, take it easy on yourself! You’re probably doing better at this whole “balance” thing than you realize!